Falling for an illusion is what I think I am. Well, we all are, always. Our self-perception way different from everybody elses impression of us. Our senses helping us to survive, blocking out most everything we are technically able to see, hear, taste, smell, sense. Thus saving our brains from overloading and the subsequent syntax error. We notice very little of the things our senses are confronted with daily and remember even less of it. Hint for all of you, who need to get peoples attention in any way: best evoke emotions, as emotions are a sure way of making people’s brains notice and remember whatever you have to show or tell. But this normal human condition is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about what bugs me recently. Am I about to destroy my finally happy life by following an illusion? Or is it more like I say in jest: The truth is no daughter of time but of mine? Meaning, everything in my life depends on my own interpretation of it.
What is an illusion in the first place? Maybe I am using the wrong term here. Webster’s explains as follows:

il·lu·sion noun i-ˈlü-zhən

Definition of ILLUSION
1a obsolete : the action of deceiving
b (1) : the state or fact of being intellectually deceived or misled : misapprehension
(2) : an instance of such deception
2a (1) : a misleading image presented to the vision
(2) : something that deceives or misleads intellectually b
(1) : perception of something objectively existing in such a way as to cause misinterpretation of its actual nature
(2) : hallucination
1 (3) : a pattern capable of reversible perspective
3: a fine plain transparent bobbinet or tulle usually made of silk and used for veils, trimmings, and dresses

No, no, the term used is correct and thus the question valid. So, am I deceiving myself? Is my intellect being deceived by my emotions? Or vice versa? Or does something objectively exist and I just misinterpret its actual nature? Or is it a pattern capable of reversible perspective? What if both drafts of what I should do are just depending on my point of view?


And what about those necessarily loosing out in this entire mess? Awwww, I need my best friend’s porch, I guess.


3 thoughts on “illusions

  1. Flashing boobs, I suspect would help me remember, then again I never was able to test that theory properly.

    So, am I deceiving myself? Is my intellect being deceived by my emotions?
    lets assume your intellect is constantly refining & polishing your view of the world & your emotions crap huge drops of unfitting, smelly crap all over it from time to time.

    now does your mind attack & debunk each pile of crap at a time thus leaving part of your world vulnerable to being tainted and unclear at times – or does it just hover & smear & drag all shitpiles all over your view on things, hoping the heat of friction would render it harmless-?

    & do u just take care of vital parts & let the left over crap dry to later on fall off in movement or short strokes against its crust?

    fraid I got no answers really 😉


  2. I like how you describe the influence of emotions. being female, I always rendered emotions a vital part of me, sometimes even the wiser part of me, without which everything is meaningless. never looked at them as crap piled over my intellect. but this nicely describes the inner conflict I live through right now. your options given as how to deal with them, are funny. guess, I am about to let them dry and fall off with time. might just be my heart dries up too, in the process.


    1. How about covering you vital parts & setting aside some stem cells / keeping an open mind to eventually regrow parts of dead or harmed tissue 😉

      and all that dried manure can function as energy source or soil on which new ideas or those sheltered in vital parts, in your “heart’s heart” will sprout & take root once again. ^^

      I m amazed each spring at the insistency & perseverance with which colourful life returns to gloomy ruins & in that realisation I weigh earlier impressions of doom & bare bodkins & how very silly & selfimportant & distracted & one-sided & shamelessly pessimistic I may have been in the past. 😉

      I like my emotions the way they are, – tainting my objectives, adding flavour and finally & thankfully still subject to will & supression.

      Some follow their hearts, some their noses or eyes,- some sit at home believing themselves to be travellers of great import, some like boobs, some like dicks, most like lips- some like crust – on everything.- their pizza, their partner, their view on things, their dicks, their lips, their spaceships & screens.

      w/o the taint of emotion it’s meaningless for me as well inso far as they re not overriding EVERYThing thats fine w/ me. Makes no difference to me if one is a pencilpushing robot or a manic heartbeat of a Whim both extremes scream SLAVE and make it unappealing to me.

      But thats just me, chronically underfucked, sitting in my makeshift 5th floor ivory tower, dreaming of girls in horizontal stripes & w/ deep voices, to like me & laugh at the concoctions of the time ^^ to share in my joy & forgive my shortcomings.


      The washer has almost finished it’s cycle, kids are playing in the streets, diesel-fumes are creeping through the cracked windows.

      Gonna check for new lls episodes

      you have a good one & maybe try taking all apparent, inevitable, current truths with a grain of salt. 😉


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